chasing drinks and dreams
by fantasmefantastic
Summary: college!fic. outlaw queen/captain swan. hints of snowing. The Merry Band of Idiots have come up with another brilliant plan, and this time 'brilliant' might not actually mean 'stupid.' It's a half-baked plan, involving no destination, a beat up SUV, and a lot of gas money. It's actually not much of a plan but, hey, why not?
1. saturday morning beginnings

**title: **saturday morning beginnings  
><strong>pairing:<strong> outlaw queen/captain swan. hints of snowing.  
><strong>author's note: <strong>LETS WRITE MORE COLLEGE!FICS. I really have a problem. And you thought I was kidding when I said I was going to blow up this site with OUAT fics. Also, BROHOOD WARNING. I love the whole Captain Charming Hood brotp.  
><strong>disclaimer: <strong>I do not own Once Upon a Time. (Because if I did NOTHING BAD WOULD EVER HAPPEN TO EMMA & HOOK & THEY WOULD LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. GOOD DAY SIR I SAID GOOD DAY.)

* * *

><p>Regina Mills was an ambitious young woman. Regina Mills set goals, devised plans, and achieved them. Regina Mills maintained a perfect 4.0 throughout her entire college experience. Regina Mills was the most efficient intern. Regina Mills was headed for great things.<p>

Regina Mills also _slept in on Saturday mornings._

It was the only day of the week that she didn't have to get up early for work, class, or internship. It was the only day of the week that followed a night of drinking. It was the only day of the week where _everyone knew not to bother her_.

Except, apparently, Robin and his brohood.

Mary Margaret and Emma looked up from their coffee and hot cocoa as the boys crashed into their kitchen, with their usual loudness. Commotion just seemed to be a permanent description of Robin Hood, Killian Jones, and David Nolan.

"What are you doing here this early?" Mary Margaret asked, where as Emma would have said _What the fuck, guys?_ But that was why Mary Margaret was Mary Margaret, and Emma was Emma.

"We have a _brilliant _plan!" David announced, with the stupid, excited grin he got when the Three Musketeers got together. (Or The Merry Band of Idiots as Emma referred to them.)

"Brilliant plan meaning something that's going to get you all killed?" Emma drawled, spiking an eyebrow as she sipped her hot cocoa.

(Last time they'd crashed into the kitchen with a brilliant plan, Killian had ended up in the hospital with a broken hand.)

"Swan, must you doubt us so?" Killian groaned, placing his hand over his heart, as if she'd wounded him with her words. Emma just rolled her eyes and returned her attention to her breakfast.

"We need Regina though. Where is she?" Robin asked.

"Sleeping," Mary Margaret replied, cautiously.

"Oh, I'll just go wake her up then," Robin said, starting towards the stairs. Emma almost choked on her hot cocoa, and coughed to cover up her laugh.

Surely, they couldn't be that stupid.

"Um…" Mary Margaret began, as a warning.

"We'll come with you!" David interrupted, practically skipping after his friend.

"We…will?" Killian asked, doubt flashing through his eyes for the first time. "Isn't waking Regina rather similar to waking…I don't know…a dragon?"

"Coward," Emma muttered, into her cup.

Killian glared at her, and with a little more cajoling from David and Robin, started after them. They took the stairs two at a time, rounded the corner, and lightly knocked on the second door down the hall.

No answer.

"Guess we'll have to go in?" Robin asked. David nodded firmly, while Killian adopted an expression that stated he would rather be anywhere but with his idiotic friends at that moment.

Robin swung the door open, and the light from the hall sliced into a room of utter darkness. Regina had hung thick, dark curtains over her windows, and closed them on Friday nights, so the sun wouldn't wake her a minute before she wanted to get up on Saturday.

"Regina?" David called, tentatively.

Now that they were here, it didn't seem like such a good idea.

"I vote we head back," Killian whispered, fiercely.

"Don't be stupid," Robin replied, with an easy grin. "It's just Regina."

And he did the unthinkable.

He _jumped on the bed_.

* * *

><p>Emma and Mary Margaret jumped as the most inhuman, blood curdling, piercing <em>shriek<em> shattered their quiet Saturday morning breakfast.

"Oh my God," Mary Margaret groaned, closing her eyes as if silent prayer. "They _actually _woke her up."

Emma snickered, "Oh shit, they are all dead."

* * *

><p>"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!" Regina screamed—shouted—yelled—hollered—screeched—shrieked—Killian desperately tried to come up with a proper synonym that described the sounds coming out of Regina's mouth as he cowered behind Robin, all dignity forgotten.<p>

"Good morning, sunshine!" Robin said, a brave man in the face of _death_.

Regina scowled at him, "What. Are you. Doing. In my. _Room_." She groped about in her pillows and found her phone. "_At eight fucking thirty in the morning._"

"We had an idea," David said, tentatively.

"I do _not _care," Regina snarled. "Get out!"

"No, no, you'll like this idea!" Robin insisted.

"Your idea involves waking me up on a _Saturday_," Regina growled at them. "Therefore, your idea is _fucking stupid_ and I don't want to hear it, especially at this _ungodly _hour."

Robin frowned at her, "Regina, you could at least listen. You're already awake."

Killian and David exchanged frightened looks. But, somehow, someway, Regina didn't completely explode on their friend. In the years they'd been together at Misthaven University, Robin had been the only one capable of cajoling Regina from her moods, persuading her to go out and enjoy a drink, coaxing her down from a murder spree.

(Killian still wasn't convinced that she didn't have anything to do with Ashley dropping out last year.)

"Fine," Regina drawled. "But, seriously, get out of my room. I'm going to change and shower, and then I'll come downstairs to hear your stupid—," She cut herself off at Robin's frown "—to hear your _idea_."

"Really, you have to shower?" David protested.

Killian shot him a panicked look.

(_dudeshutthefuckupshedidn'tkillusbehappyaboutthat.)_

Regina threw him a nasty look and said, "You morons woke me up, so yes, I am going to make you _wait_."

"We'll be downstairs when you're ready," Killian announced. Taking control of the situation, he grabbed his two friends collars and hauled them out of the lion's den, before the lion decided to change her mind and devour all of them.

"Ow, Killian!" David complained.

"Survival instincts, mate."

* * *

><p>Forty minutes later, Regina descended the stairs and found her friends waiting for her, just like they'd promised. Emma and Mary Margaret were still at the kitchen table, looking startled that the boys were still alive. Killian, David, and Robin were scattered about the kitchen—David, near Mary Margaret; Killian leaning against the doorway; Robin, perched on the counter.<p>

"All right, let's hear this brilliant plan of yours," Regina said, trying not to drawl out _brilliant _in the most sarcastic tone ever.

"Great!" Robin chirruped, hopping down from the counter.

Regina tried not to scowl. How could someone so goddamn good looking be so annoying? Oh, because it was a Saturday, and _she was supposed to be sleeping_.

"Road trip!" David announced.

Emma stared at him.

Mary Margaret slowly stared to smile.

Regina scowled.

"How would that even work?" she demanded.

Killian shrugged, "We don't know. That's the point."

"Where would we go?" Emma asked.

"Don't know that either," Robin announced.

Regina threw her hands up in the air, as if she couldn't believe how stupid her friends were.

"I kind of like it," Mary Margaret said, and David hugged his girlfriend, a grin splitting his face. "It sounds exciting!" she defended, into Emma's what-the-fuck expression and Regina's you-are-a-traitor narrowed eyes.

"I guess…it could work," Emma said, slowly. It was the beginning of summer break, after all, so none of their summer job work schedules had been finalized yet.

"I have to work," Regina stated.

(Except Regina, of course.)

"No, you don't," David said, flashing her a grin. "It seems you came down with an awful case of mono, or so your father said when he called your job this morning. The lawyer's office insisted you take all the time you need to properly heal." The ridiculous wink that followed his story told them that he had called the office, pretending to be Regina's dad.

"_David!" _Mary Margaret protested.

"It was Killian's idea!"

"Wow, Nolan, really?"

"You had no right to do that!" Regina cried.

Robin eyed her skeptically and said, "You were telling me _yesterday_ that you were considering calling in sick on Sunday, because you've been so tired from finals."

Regina scowled at him, "That's not the _point_—,"

"Are you in, or not?" Killian demanded. "Because we're going either way."

"Going _where?_" Emma demanded.

"Where's your sense of adventure?" David cried, pumping his fist into the air.

Mary Margaret smiled, "I'm in."

Emma groaned, "Well I can't let you go off by yourself with these idiots. I'm in."

Everyone looked at Regina.

She scowled back at them.

"Come on, Regina," Robin said, grinning at her.

(All you had to do was smile at me, and I would have caved instantly.)

"We'll make it fun," Emma added, grinning now—the boys' excitement was catching.

"Dear God, _fine_," Regina groaned, and everyone whooped with glee.

The Road Trip was on.

* * *

><p>Oh man, this was wayyyy too much fun to write. CAPTAIN CHARMING HOOD BROS.<p> 


	2. destination nowhere

**title:** destination nowhere  
><strong>pairing:<strong> eh, this is mostly friendship.  
><strong>author's note: <strong>LOVE THE BROHOOD. If you haven't seen Real Husbands of Storybrooke on Tumblr PLEASE go look at it now because it's HILARIOUS.  
><strong>disclaimer:<strong> I do not own Once Upon a Time.

* * *

><p>"Should we <em>try <em>to use directions or—,"

"No directions!"

"We have no actual destination, so there's really no point to that."

"Cough up 5 bucks, everybody! 'Cause there's no way I'm about to fill this tank by myself."

"What the actual fuck is the point of this?"

"Just relax and enjoy the ride."

"…I don't even know what that means."

"HEY! I said _five _not _three_, you cheap bastard."

"Listen, funds are low."

"Should've stayed home then, pussy."

"RUDE."

"Help. Someone help."

* * *

><p>They had been on the road all day and, somehow, had managed not to kill each other. There had been a lot of arguing over the music—everyone vs. David over whether or not to play country—some well-timed pictures of Killian and Robin asleep on each other, and a lot of laughter.<p>

As the sun started to set, after abandoning the expressway hours ago, David randomly pulled to the right, sending everyone sprawling the left of the Durango.

"What the fuck, Nolan!"

"A little warning next time?"

"You are _so _lucky I did not just spill my cocoa."

"_You _are so lucky you did not just spill your cocoa, because this is a Prada bag."

"David, darling, where are we?"

"I don't know!" David chirruped back, throwing the SUV into park.

Emma peered out the window; David had pulled to the side of the main road of a town that looked like it would be on a postcard during the winter. There was a little dinner, called Granny's, a pawn shop, a beautiful old clock tower, and other beautiful, old-timey buildings.

"Only we," Regina announced, as they climbed out of the car, "would end up in a small town for a road trip."

"Would you rather go to Vegas?" Robin teased her.

"I like it," Mary Margaret announced.

Killian rolled his eyes, "Of course you do, _Mom._"

Mary Margaret's nurturing nature and kind-heartedness had won her that nickname back in freshmen year, when she'd taken care of all of them during a nasty bout of colds throughout the dorm.

Emma dug through her bag to locate her phone, and pulled up a search engine.

"What's this place called?" she asked.

David squinted at the town sign, and read it aloud, "Welcome to…Storybrooke."

Regina scoffed as Emma typed in the name. Several reviews popped up, praising Granny's food, a couple of bars in the area, and the quiet comfort to be found in the little town. Emma announced her discovery.

"Well, there's bars, that's a good sign," Killian said, with a grin.

"And there's a beach nearby," Emma added.

"I'm sold," David announced.

Robin grinned at Regina, and she rolled her eyes. "Can we eat?" Robin asked, convinced that Regina would go along with their plan. He clutched at his stomach, "I'm starving."

"We ate like two hours ago," Emma pointed out.

"Exactly," Robin said. "_Two hours ago_."

"You are a bottomless pit," Mary Margaret teased, with a giggle.

"You're going to have to start starving yourself, if you don't want to go broke from this trip," Regina pointed out. "David's gas-guzzling SUV isn't exactly cheap to fuel, you know."

"Hey! Don't hate on the Durango."

Emma resisted the urge to smack her own forehead.

"Why don't we focus on getting a hotel for the night?" Killian suggested.

Regina took Emma's phone, and scrolled for hotels. "Looks like this Granny's diner place is also an inn." She handed it back to the blonde. "There's specials that say if we stay here, we get discounts on food—,"

Robin was already gone.

"You know, I'm starting to wonder if I'm crazy," Killian said, falling into step beside Emma as they walked towards the charming looking diner.

"Hm, why's that?" Emma asked, with a grin.

"For actually being friends with these hoodlums, and going along with this trip."

Emma laughed, and didn't notice the way Killian looked at her, a small smile dawning on his face, as if making her laugh was a great feat he had accomplished. She pretended that her heart hadn't leapt to her throat, that the way Killian always made her laugh was something she was well aware of.

"When you two are done reveling in your sexual tension, can we go inside?" Regina demanded, in her blunt way. Emma shot her friend a wide-eyed look—_canyouevershutupjesus_—as Killian just smirked as they caught up to their friends, and entered the diner.

It was late, but there were still patrons scattered in the booths and at the counter. Almost all of them looked up when the group of young adults entered, and apart of Emma's mind wondered if they'd walked into a horror film.

"Good evening," Mary Margaret said, politely.

A few mumbled good evenings back, most just looked back down at the plates or their companions and, eventually, conversation started up again.

"You can sit wherever you like, dears," said the old woman behind the counter, as she dried off a glass.

"Thank you," Mary Margaret said, smiling, and they headed towards an empty booth in the corner.

"We're also looking for a place to stay," Regina said, approaching the counter. The woman eyed her, suspiciously.

"Well, this is as good a place as any," she said, but her friendly tone had turned stern. "I don't take no funny business though, so there will be no disturbin' the other guests, or bouncing on beds, or things breakin', understand?"

"Yes, of course," Regina replied, as David and Robin hollered about _something stupid_ and slapped high fives. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "I'll put leashes on them, I assure you."

The old woman didn't laugh, but the corner of her mouth turned up in a smirk, as if she knew Regina would do exactly that, to keep them out of trouble.

"All right then," she said, pulling a guest book out from behind the counter.

* * *

><p>Regina joined her friends a few minutes later, sliding into the booth beside Killian. They had ordered already, from the young waitress with red streaks in her hair, and a chicken cesaer salad awaited her.<p>

"Got our lodging all figured out, Boss?" Robin asked.

Regina shrugged, "Considering our limited budget, I thought one room would be best. There are two beds, and Granny said we can set up a cot in the room as well, no extra charge. David and Mary Margaret can take one bed, Emma and I will share the other, and you two can battle it out for the cot or the floor."

"Oi, what about feminism and equal treatment and all that?" Killian complained.

"Sorry, would you like to share a bed with Regina?" Emma shot back, fluttering her eyelashes innocently. The rest of them practically howled with laughter at the look on both Killian and Regina's faces.

They ate and talked, discussed plans, and there may have been a french fry war, that even Regina participated in, only with her croutons. They were contemplating which bar to stop at—Rabbit Hole, Gaston's, or The Castle.

"All set with this?" asked the waitress, tapping the plate in front of Killian.

"Yes, love, thank you," Killian replied, flashing his charming smile. She smirked back at him, a sultry curl of her red red lips, and Emma tried not to be annoyed about it.

"By the way, The Hole is a great place," she said with a wink, before walking away.

Emma tried _really really hard _not to be annoyed.

Regina and Mary Margaret exchanged looks, to the oblivion of the men around them, who were all staring at the low-buttoned shirt of the waitress. She skipped away, her long dark hair swinging down her back.

Killian and Robin exchanged looks that clearly said _Broooo_.

"The Rabbit Hole it is," Killian mused.

Emma scoffed as Mary Margaret got to her feet.

"Ladies, I believe it is time to get ready," she said, with a beaming smile. Regina and Emma exchanged looks, as there was definitely a mischievous glint to their friend's eyes.

"I don't have anything to wear," Emma complained.

"I'm sure we can scrounge something up," Mary Margaret replied, not demurred in the slightest.

"I refuse to be a part of making a dress out of curtains," Regina stated, flatly.

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes, "Don't be ridiculous. Emma can borrow something of ours."

"Emma can what?"

"Man, now you're gonna take forever to get ready," David complained.

"Just sit tight and enjoy the rest of your meal," Mary Margaret said.

Emma sighed and got to her feet, following her friends out of the diner, as Regina called back, over her shoulder, "And don't forget to pay!"

"OI!" Killian shouted, but they were already gone. He glared at David, "Your girlfriend is evil."

David snorted, and decided to ignore the comment.

"The waitress is checking you out again," Robin pointed out, grinning into his drink as he sipped it. Killian tossed a casual look over his shoulder and the brunette, noting that she didn't look away. He smirked at her, waved a bit with the tip of his fingers, and she smirked back.

"You disgust me with how easily you get girls," David stated.

"It's all in the smile, mates."

They snickered amongst themselves. After finished their meal and paying for the check, the three young men decided it was time to venture upstairs and change before heading out to The Rabbit Hole.

David reached for the doorknob and swung it open, to reveal a room that was utterly trashed. Clothes were everywhere; three bags and one suitcase lay open on the beds.

"What the hell are you three doing…in…here…"

"Um, where are the girls?" Robin asked.

David's phone buzzed, and he picked it up to read the text message from Mary Margaret out loud.

_"Went to buy some liquor, meet you out front in a few_," he said, deciding it was best not to read the _xoxo_ at the end of the message. There were some things The Brohood did not need to know about.

"And they say _we're_ messy," Killian complained.

"Well, we are kind of disgusting," Robin admitted.

They changed quickly, as men tended to do. Killian threw his leather jacket on over a gray V-neck; the kind of guy who could pull of a necklace and look badass while doing it. As he fixed his hair, David threw on his blue denim shirt, rolling up the sleeves to expose his forearms. Robin's choice was simple, a light green polo with his grey hoodie.

(One time Regina had said she liked that hoodie.)

"Killian, stop messing with your hair and lets go!" Robin complained.

"It takes time to achieve greatness."

"I cannot believe you actually just said that," David moaned.

* * *

><p>The guys were laughing and shoving each other, and Emma tried to understand what exactly that accomplished, when they finally spotted the three girls waiting on the sidewalk, and stopped dead in their tracks.<p>

David's mouth went slack as he drank in the sight of his long-term girlfriend on the bed. Mary Margaret stood beside Regina, casually scrolling through her phone. She had on pale pink jeans with a black tank top, accented by a gold necklace with pearls and rose petals on it. Strappy black wedges were on her feet, making her petite self a little taller.

(He wasn't sure how, but suddenly her boobs looked _huge_.) (The magic of a push up bra.)

Emma always looked sexy, but leaning up against the hood of a car made Killian stop in his tracks. She wore jean shorts that exposed her long legs, making Killian's eyes travel down to the gray ankle boots she wore. A white lace crop top exposed her shoulders and flat stomach, and his eyes stuck there, too. In fact, his eyes were pretty much just glued to her.

Regina stood between the two, an actual smile on her face. She wore leather pants that hugged every curve, somehow balancing in thin black stilettos. A gold metallic top graced her frame; her lips were painted a beautiful shade of red. She held a black clutch in her hand, clearly the Keeper of Money and IDs for the night. Robin wondered how she always managed to look elegantly sexy.

"Ready?" Regina asked them, something of a challenge in her eyes.

"Always," Killian shot back, his eyes on Emma.

"Well then, time for shots!" the blonde woman announced, pulling out a bottle of vodka from the brown bag at her feet. She hastily poured it into the six shot glasses Mary Margaret had pulled from the van. (Because duh they had packed them.)

Everyone raised a little glass, clinking them together, as David said, "Cheers to summer, friends, and the first night of our road trip!"

* * *

><p>Just in case anyone was wondering, I feel the first conversation went as follows...<br>- Mary Margaret  
>- Killian<br>- Emma  
>- David<br>- Regina  
>- Robin<br>- Regina  
>- David<br>- Killian  
>- Emma or Robin (I can't decide!)<br>- Killian  
>- Regina<p>

This took me soooo long to write and I feel like nothing actually happens, I'm sorry! Next chapter will include lots of drunk shenanigans, jealous Emma, jealous Killian, and a dancing Robin.


End file.
